Spiritual Aspect of Our Grief
By Kei Okada on April 17, 2023
When we grieve the loss of our loved one, it is not just emotional. It shakes who we are, and how we live our lives. We sometimes feel as if our spirit or soul were “trembling.” One important part is missing from our life, it changes the entire design of the life we lived for many years. Grief is our way of loving the person we are missing. Living with our grief, may change along our life’s journey. What we value in life, what makes our life meaningful, are what makes us who we are – these are the spiritual bases of our life but they go through changes. We all have our unique personal ways of expressing grief, and telling our stories about our loved one: “This is our way of staying in touch” in spirit, based on the spiritual aspects of who we are, what we value and believe, and how we express our experience. For some, family customs, religious, or
cultural rituals may offer a space and provide a moment of silent reflection and meditation.
Spiritual Aspect of Our Storytelling
We are all made of stories. We have our stories of losses, and we have our own ways of expressing our grief. We may tell our stories differently when we share them with different people, depending on the relationship or where and when we share them. And every time we share our stories and they are heard responded, we may notice something new in our memories or in ourselves. When we listen to others’ responses and comments, or to their stories, we may find new perspectives or meanings to our own stories. Shared stories may unlock something, tap into a forgotten time or place. Through stories, our understanding and experience of both us and the late loved ones we miss find new aspects or meanings that may nurture relationships with our loved ones. We may even find mutual sharing of stories liberating
and healing, by learning to share, listen, and support one another’s stories.
We are open to listen to your experience of grief and to learn from you, regarding what have been helpful and meaningful to you, on such aspects and topics as:
- Spiritual wellness
- Healing process of “becoming whole”
- Family custom, cultural heritage, spiritual, or religious
practice
We welcome you to our safe space of mutual support for all men who grieve. We find inspiration and wisdom in one another to learn how to
live well with grief, and to nurture our relationships with our late loved ones – the loved ones who nurtured our lives. This community can be another way of tribute to our late loved ones, whose spirits are never separate from us but within us.
About the author
Kei Okada was born in New York and raised in Kanazawa, Japan. An initial plan to study for a year in U.S. extended to three art schools followed by four years of working with post-modern dancers in dance theatres in New York City. His love of language led him to study biblical languages at Union Theological Seminary, where the field education course led him to find a meaningful vocation in chaplaincy through a clinical training of CPE (Clinical Pastoral Education). After working at NY Presbyterian Cornell Medical Center’s “Program for Children with AIDS” and Housing Works Adult Day Health Care programs for the homeless living with HIV, he worked for 15.5 years at Visiting Nurse Service of New York and Palliative Care. In the end of 2021, he retired from his position as Program manager, End-of-Life Spiritual Care, and currently he is writing his first book on how to facilitate meaningful dialogues with those who are living their final stage of life. Kei is a Board-Certified Chaplain under Association of Professional Chaplains (APC), and an Associate of Columbia University Seminar on Death. As a Christian mystic and an artist, Kei has been offering and writing in the U.S. and Japan on end-of-life consciousness and communication, integrating Art, Spiritual care, and Medicine.